Couples Therapy.
If you long for greater love and connection, couples therapy with Dr. Yulia Koba can help you heal, rebuild, and transform your relationship or marriage.
Are You Looking To
Heal And Rejuvenate Your Relationship?
Do you ever feel lonely or disconnected in your relationship or marriage—as if you and your partner are merely two strangers passing in the night?
Has the passion and friendship you once experienced taken a backseat to the daily stress of pursuing a career, raising kids, and managing finances?
Perhaps you still love your partner like crazy, but all the defensiveness, criticism, contempt, and resentment—it’s just too overwhelming. Or maybe your relationship or marriage is in crisis and you’re thinking, It’s either couples therapy or wait until this implodes.
Couples Experience Challenges In Many Contexts
Do you ever feel lonely or disconnected in your relationship or marriage—as if you and your partner are merely two strangers passing in the night?
Has the passion and friendship you once experienced taken a backseat to the daily stress of pursuing a career, raising kids, and managing finances?
Perhaps you still love your partner like crazy, but all the defensiveness, criticism, contempt, and resentment—it’s just too overwhelming. Or maybe your relationship or marriage is in crisis and you’re thinking, It’s either couples therapy or wait until this implodes.
Conflict Is An Inevitable Part Of Any Relationship.
Relational problems are very common. Unfortunately, many people look at couples or marriage therapy as a sign that they’ve “failed” where everyone else has seemingly succeeded, so there’s often a lot of shame or guilt associated with counseling.
What most couples don’t realize is that there are many reasons why partners fall out of sync with each other. Attachment injuries, trauma, past betrayals, and exposure to unhealthy relationship models can all influence dysfunctional patterns that lead to relational problems.
Why Is It Difficult For Couples To Resolve These Issues Without Therapy?
We live in a society that expects us to do it all—and to look good while doing it. It places so much pressure on people to get that promotion, make that money, take on more responsibilities, and be a good provider that there is little time to work on the finer points of a relationship.
Then there are potential financial stressors, cultural barriers, and co-parenting issues that add another layer to the disharmony. Many couples also lack the support of an extended family network, so they’re typically too overworked and overwhelmed to consider relationship maintenance—or even self-care.
However, my online and in-person couples therapy sessions give you the space and support you need to really sort through your challenges, understand their origins, and discover a way to heal.
Finding Solutions And Support Through Couples Therapy.
When couples argue and experience a lot of conflict, it can compromise the feeling of safety in the relationship. Therapy addresses that by giving each of you a safe space where you can be honest about your hurts, desires, and unmet needs without feeling threatened or worried.
Working with a couples or marriage counselor allows you to explore your attachment styles and find better ways of connecting with and relating to each other. You can learn more about how your nervous system reacts to relational threats, like rejection or disconnection, and what you can do to calm that response.
While we are exploring the deeper roots of distress, counseling also focuses on repairing relational damage, promoting deeper intimacy, and constructing tools for managing conflict effectively.
What Are Some Of The Tools We Use In Counseling?
As a marriage counselor and couples therapist, I am specially trained in Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) model. EFT identifies attachment injuries, explores dysfunctional cycles in relationships, and helps couples connect in ways that make each partner available, responsive, and actively engaged.
I also draw from the Gottman Method, which focuses on several goals:
- Disarming conflict in verbal communication
- Cultivating intimacy, affection, and mutual respect
- Breaking down barriers that create a sense of stagnation
- Increasing empathy and building understanding
Somatic Experiencing enables you to understand your nervous system better and restores a sense of safety in your interactions. It also addresses the physical toll of relationship stress: the pit in the stomach, the sweaty palms, and the urge to just curl up in a ball.
All of these tools give you new ways of communicating, regulating your responses to conflict, and building a greater sense of empathy and respect toward one another. So, if you are ready to enjoy a deeper, more intimate connection based on greater understanding and compassion, it is possible to heal and improve your relationship.
Some of the topics we cover in sessions, particularly in the beginning, may include aspects about relational pain points, attachment styles, past trauma, and how you were brought up. We can also look at how culture, your community, and your early life may impact your views of relationships or what to expect from a partner.
And because I know there is often a fear that the therapist will take sides, I’ll never judge, shame, or gang up on anyone. My goal is to merely help you dig into the roots of your challenges and find healing.
What Can You Expect From Couples Counseling?
After your initial consultation, I’ll meet with you first as a couple so that I can get to know you, your collective concerns, and your goals for therapy. Next, I’ll schedule an individual session for each of you to give you a chance to candidly share your story and your perspective on the presenting issues. From then onward, we’ll meet together as a couple.
Some of the topics we cover in sessions, particularly in the beginning, may include aspects about relational pain points, attachment styles, past trauma, and how you were brought up. We can also look at how culture, your community, and your early life may impact your views of relationships or what to expect from a partner.
And because I know there is often a fear that the therapist will take sides, I’ll never judge, shame, or gang up on anyone. My goal is to merely help you dig into the roots of your challenges and find healing.
Perhaps You Still Have Some Thoughts About Couples Therapy…
Couples Experience Challenges In Many Contexts
If you’re willing to come together for this, it really is possible to make things work out. That said, not all relationships are salvageable, and some people come to therapy looking for clarity. While I ultimately want to help you repair things, it may be that you both find you want something else.
If that’s the case, I can help you navigate uncoupling in a way that is healthy, productive, and even friendly, which can be extremely important when children are involved. My job is to help you decide what you want for yourselves, regardless of which direction that goes.
We’re worried about the financial cost of marital counseling.
What’s worth more: a little time and money or your happiness and the health of your marriage? After all, being married or in a committed relationship is a huge part of your world, and when that part is hurting or in danger, it can upset your life in unexpected ways.
Making a temporary investment in maintaining, healing, and improving your relationship will pay off in ways you probably can’t imagine right now. In a relatively short time, you’ll gain tools, self-awareness, and insight into each other that can help you overcome future challenges on your own.
My partner doesn’t want to participate in couples counseling.
That’s perfectly fine. Just because your partner doesn’t want to participate doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve to feel better. Together, we can work on understanding and healing your attachment wounds while practicing strategies that you can use on your own to improve communication, resolve conflict, and stay grounded when you’re distressed.
Over time, maybe your partner will come around…maybe not. Regardless, you deserve to feel better—and I want to help.
Let’s Heal, Rebuild, And Transform Your Relationship.
If you are tired of arguing and ready for a change, couples counseling can help you enjoy a lighter, more fulfilling relationship or marriage.
Please email or call me at 424 256 0160 for your free, 15-minute consultation to see how my approach to couples therapy can help you both discover greater happiness and a deeper connection.